What a Roller Coaster Ride

 

The instant I saw her face, I knew. I asked Mark if I could request more information. As soon as he said sure, I sent the email I had already written. 

 

I held the photos of our sweet girl for 2 weeks. I had prayed and talked at length with Mark. We weren’t ready to fully sign on just yet. In the time it took us to commit, another family had put her on hold and was filling out an application. Although I was happy for her, I would be lying not to say I was devastated. I knew that He had a plan. I knew there was a child for us. I knew that I should be thrilled she had a family (and I was thankful for that). Still, it looked like the end of our story.

 

But God. Three weeks later everything changed.

 

I searched every couple days to make sure the post of the little girl that grabbed my heart was changed to “found a family”. When it hadn’t changed after 3 weeks, I decided to reach out to the agency again. I found out that the family wasn’t sure they were ready to continue. They had one week left of the month-long hold to complete their application. I let the case worker know that we were definitely still interested if they decided not to proceed. That was the moment I started to hold my breath.

 

It was May 1, 2020 that I received the message that they decided not to move forward and that sweet face was once again available. This began the longest week of my life began, while I waited for Mark to catch up and get on board with the path I just knew we would take. Running to our precious girl!

After a week, I approached Mark looking for a “yes”. I had presented options of how we could finance another adoption. We had poured over videos and the little medical info we had in order to assess where this sweet girl was at, what her future might hold, and possible limitations. I had been praying for over a month. So, knowing the next day was Friday and we had officially been looking at her file for a week, it was time to move. 

He told me he needed a week to pray about it...

 

I was, ummm, a little miffed. To be honest, I was quite upset and didn’t hide it. Another week??? What had he been doing? I had presented all of the information I had. I had made a very good case. We had decided we would adopt another child. But, how does one argue with “I’ll pray about it”? So, I gave him the quiet treatment (to let him pray ), probably closed a few doors and cupboards with a little extra force, and cried in the bathroom more than once that evening. Fairly certain I was pretty miserable to be around.

 

I wasn't aware that he was actually planning the biggest surprise ever in just 2 days. Mark worked frantically in the 2.5 hours that I was downstairs that Friday afternoon to put it all together. He videoed each of the children telling me something they wanted to thank me for and a reason they loved me. He called our agency, put our sweet daughter on hold, started all the paperwork, and got it all sent to his church email (since we share everything and there are no secrets in this marriage).

 

Then, Sunday morning before the online service he sat all of us down (the kids were giddy with excitement) and played the video. There they all were and I watched through tears. However, the best part was the end when he came on and told me there was one more that wanted to say something... then I saw her precious face. 

 

I spent the rest of that evening with him, filling out the remaining paperwork and emailing about a Homestudy to get started on our journey!

Financing This Journey

  

I’m honestly shaking with excitement, thankfulness, and awe! Let me explain.

When we started this adoption, I figured we might be able to raise 5,000. I had done the calculations and knew that this adoption would cost much more than any previous adoptions. I figured that, after raising 5,000, we would need to cover about 60,000 with loans. I spent hours snowballing debt and determining how to pay it off in 4 years. Then, friends and family showed up in BIG ways, supporting us through donations, sales, and matching challenges. With your help, we have raised 23,400! We have also been blessed with two adoption grants totaling 7,000. We have saved and set aside all that we could, so we have an adoption account with 12,000 in it.

 

I stood amazed last week as I reveled in what this meant. We would only need one loan for about half. This means I could pay it off in about a year and a half.

 

But wait!!!!! It just got BETTER! Our third stimulus is pending in our account ready to drop on Wednesday. Before you calculate, this is HUGE! But, it’s even bigger than that! NOW, we have a huge stimulus payment ready to be deposited and transferred straight to our adoption savings account. Do you know what this means?!?!?!

 

ONLY 8,000 and we will be fully funded!!! You all, I don’t even know how to process this all. We have NEVER been fully funded. We have borrowed, used inheritance, taken out home equity loans, worked extra hours… Our God AMAZES me!!

 

I doubted. So often I doubted. I would lower the amount we posted as a goal. I would limit the number of puzzle pieces, so that half a puzzle wouldn’t be left. I doubted. But, that didn’t stop God. Through prayers and financial gifts that were understandably difficult during a pandemic, you have brought us here! From 65,000 to 8,000! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adoption Artwork

When we started this adoption, we knew the deck was stacked against us for raising funds. We were fully prepared to get loans to cover every amount that would be needed. When we commit to an adoption, we come prepared to pay. We had calculated monthly payments and amounts needed.

However, we also believe that fundraising is an opportunity. It’s a chance for others to join in support. (There are many ways to support us and prayer is the biggest. We thank everyone for their prayers!!) Knowing that this was our 10^th child and 8^th international adoption had us very concerned. Plus, a pandemic had just started and we had no idea that it would be of this magnitude or its effects this long-lasting. So, amidst pay cuts, time reductions, and job losses, you all have given more than we could have ever imagined!

We started with a puzzle to help get us raise the initial $5000. We figured if we could raise that much, we would be lucky. We started with a goal of $34,000 total. Sadly, I doubted that we would ever come close to that much and reduced it to $15,000. Little did I know. Once again, we learned that we should never limit what God can do. That puzzle filled up fast and our totals have far exceeded that $15,000 limit I put on it.

We saw that donations were still coming in and we wanted a way to honor those as well. We didn’t want something that would limit us to a certain number. That is how our latest artwork began. We decided to start with a wooden plaque that says “Every Family has a Story, Welcome to Ours – Built On Love”. This speaks to how our family has grown and what it is based on – LOVE. We then added hooks that can hold as many hearts as needed. Each time a donation is made, a heart is added. These hearts are personalized. The donating family gives us a word and/or verse to add to the heart. We also write their name on the back. 

This has quickly become my favorite adoption artwork yet. I love watching our children get excited when a new heart is added. We all love reading through the verses and words people have selected. I love watching it grow and change. I love that it is a daily reminder of the support we have.

Switching Paths in an Adoption Journey

 

It was almost one year ago that I saw the picture that would forever change our family…

Let me back up a little. I had come home with Emilyn just over half a year (October 2016) and my heart started calling me back to China. I began advocating for the sweetest little girl that absolutely tugged at my heart, Faith. Her story spoke to my soul. All of the loss she had experienced in her short life reached to the depths of my heart and my whole desire was to help her see how loved and worthy she was of a Forever Family. Mark was not ready to start pursuing another adoption so close to bringing home the little girl that already was a stretch. Then, we received an update as she had been returned to her orphanage. It was horrible, gut-wrenching. My heart utterly broke as I scanned the photos and watched the stomach-turning videos over and over. This precious girl was absolutely declining, again.

Faith from the update in June 2017

Faith from an update in January 2019

 
I continued to pray and talk to him about this sweet girl. She would be a challenge, as her needs are a mystery. However, it is evident that there are major delays. I could not guarantee how much improvement, if any, we would see in her abilities. Finally, he said we could look at the file together (I had already poured over it) and send it to our pediatrician to get her opinion. The very next day, China came out with their new rules/regulations for adoption… July 6, 2017. This is the day I will never forget. My heart stopped. My world spun. I didn’t understand. I had fought for this girl. I had prayed for this girl.

I decided to continue to fight for her. I wrote many letters. I wrote pages of documentation of all we could offer; all we were willing to do and provide. I worked with multiple agencies. And, I prayed, oh how I prayed. (I can look back on this time and see how God used it to call me to Himself. I grew so much in my dependence of Him.) We would get a sign that maybe things would move and then a door would slam in our face.

During this time, Mark asked me to really think if I just wanted to adopt again or if it was this specific girl. We started to discuss other countries that would still be open to large families. I researched a ton. I requested files. I would send him pictures of sweet faces that piqued my interest. However, each time he would respond with a maybe, I would quickly back-pedal. I would feel guilty of thinking about another child besides the precious girl waiting in China.

Then, it happened. One day, I was perusing the waiting child lists of different agencies. I saw the face that made time stand still. I instantly knew she was it. She was the missing piece to our family. There was no hesitation. No guilt. I immediately showed him the information and requested whatever I could get about her.

I still yearn for sweet Faith to have a family. She will always have a piece of my heart. However, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that this newest princess is the one. She is the reason that nothing else seemed to work out. I can look back now and realize why God didn’t move all of those mountains that I prayed so hard to move. There is a reason for every difficulty, though sometimes we will never see the reason. I am blessed to know.

I first saw her face on March 17^th. I can’t wait to share more about her. (Wouldn’t it be great if we could get our official referral on or before that day? Just sayin. 😉)

Price and Provisions

Adoption comes with a price. This is just a fact, it cannot be avoided. We know and understand that well. We work each time to come up with a financial plan of how to cover these expenses. I have also learned that involving others is an opportunity for them to join in the journey, through prayer and financial support. I believe in being transparent and open with our needs. Please join us in praying for provision.

There are a number of ways you can help:

• Pray for our process!
• We are currently waiting for our final US Approval.
• Next, our embassy will need to let Georgia know that they will issue a visa to our precious girl.
• Then, we will need to get final clearances from Georgia.
• Finally, they will set a court date in Georgia and invite us to travel.
  

 

Grants - Awarded

Brittany's Hope (through our agency) - $2500 Matching Grant!!!

Lifesong / Chosen and Dearly Loved - $4500 Matching Grant!!!

Gift of Adoption - $5000 GRANT!!!

 

Grants - Not Awarded:

Show Hope - we were not awarded a grant

Stone Family Adoption Assistance Fund -  submitted 9/6, haven't received any response to my inquiries

 

THANK YOU for your prayers!! Generosity of friends and families, savings, and the stimulus payments have gotten us VERY close to our goal!! We are NOW FULLY FUNDED!

Would you still like to help us out? Adoption Fund

 

Timeline for Ten

I am still learning the steps to the process with this new country. However, I  love to see how close I get with timeline estimates. The pandemic we are in adds another level of uncertainty, but let's try anyways. ;) I will update this post as stages are reached.

 

Saw her precious face - March 17, 2020

(Many twists and turns, I will save this for another post at a later date.)

Accepted by our Agency - May 11, 2020

Approved Homestudy - August 24, 2020

i800a Sent - September 4, 2020

i800a Lockbox - September 8, 2020

Biometrics - SKIPPED!

i800a Approval (Initial US approval for us to adopt internationally) - October 28th, 2020

Authentication/Apostille - December 2, 2020

Dossier Sent to Country - December 8, 2020

Dossier Submitted - February 12, 2021

Dossier Registered - March 5, 2021

Official Referral - July 28, 2021

Referral Acceptance - July 29, 2021

i800 Received at Lockbox - August 10, 2021

i800 Approval - October 12, 2021

NVC numbers - November 1, 2021

DS260 completed - November 1, 2021

 

EXTRA STEPS 2021-2022                                                   SIMULTANEOUS STEPS 2022

(for 18 year old):                                                                   (in country):

Michigan Clearances sent in - December 3          Article 5 issued - January 14

Michigan Clearances back - December 16

Homestudy Updated - December 20                     INTERPOL checks - January 26

I800a Supplements sent in - December 27

i800a Supplements RESUBMITTED - Jan 10       Ministry Approval - February 7

Biometrics for 18 yr old - February 22

Approval - February 23                                          Case to court - February 17

Received - February 25                                          Court Date Set - March 4

TRAVEL:

Arrived in-country - March 20

Met our daughter - March 21

Court - March 25

Medical - March 28

Embassy gave date of April 12 for visa - March 28

Birth Certificate (original and amended) - March 29

Passport - March 29

Medicals at Embassy - March 31

SOOOOO many emails to the Embassy - no changes

Visa Appointment #1 - April 12 (DS260 not closed correctly)

Visa Appointment #2 - April 14

Visa in Hand - April 18 (10am - ALWAYS in the afternoon, every reason to believe it was ready on Friday)

Flights home - April 19

Adoption is NEEDED!

I see this quoted so often in adoptions. Did you know that the context of this verse is financial?? It’s not always used for the financial aspect, but it probably should be. That is the reason most often given for not pursuing adoption. The financial obligation seems to hold people back. I get it. I think most of us struggle with spending $30,000 to $40,000.  But wait… we overcome the hurdle if we feel there is reason to, if it’s something we need. We need housing. We need transportation. We often end up taking a loan for these needs.

Well, you may not know it, but I think you NEED adoption. Yup, you need it! It will teach you so much about the love God has for you. I see it so often in my kids.

•  When they do something wrong and you just want them to ask for forgiveness.
• When they are facing a natural consequence and it hurts your heart.
• When they give you an eye roll and tell you that you don’t know anything.
• When they lie and you try everything to get them to admit the truth.
• When they get hurt and you try to make it better.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter if my children are biological or adopted, the feelings are the same. My heart is theirs, it hurts when they hurt and soars when they are happy. Then, I realize that this is the way God feels about me, His adopted child. How much greater is our Heavenly Father’s love for us? I’ve learned so much about His immense love for me. It plays out before my eyes everyday.

Also, they NEED adoption. Yup, they do! I’ve heard some say this is a “savior mentality”. Well, GOOD! I hope so! Mentality is defined as the characteristic attitude of mind or way of thinking. I certainly hope that my way of thinking aligns with my Savior! He asks us to care for the least of these. He asks us to be His hands and feet.  He loves these children and wants to see them in families. And, these children do need saving! If you don’t believe this, you haven’t seen them, you haven’t been in an orphanage, you haven’t seen them pulled from a foster home where they were thriving, you haven’t heard the stories of what they’ve endured, you haven’t held them while they told you about the past. If you don’t believe this, you don’t understand that their current situation (as good as it might be) is not forever. Without adoption, their future is one full of challenges and no support system.

YES, you can do ALL things through Christ. He does give you strength. Strength to get through the paperwork. Strength to find the funds necessary to bring them home. Strength to meet their needs. Strength to love them when they are hard to love (because there will be times, we are too sometimes).

You CAN! You NEED to! ADOPT!!